You Can't Get The Desire For Other Women "Out of Your System"
A little while back, I posted this article at Substack:
This article was about how men of different ages should always have different dating and relationship goals and how it’s a mistake to just take the standard dating advice you hear on most of the internet (from PUA to red pill) that assumes every man in the world is about 25 years old.
There’s a key point in that article that most men (and women for that matter) don’t understand.
It’s this:
You can’t ever get the need to have sex with other women “out of your system.”
False Societal Programming says that if you’re a man, instead of getting married when you’re a virgin or very inexperienced, you should instead go out and fuck tons of women and live all of your sexual fantasies first.
This will get the need to be a player “out of your system.”
So once you do this, now you can “settle down” into a traditional, monogamous relationship or marriage and you will now be 100% committed and faithful to your prefect, traditional, virgin, Christian wife and make that marriage work forever and live Happy Ever After™.
Just one problem.
That’s completely untrue and virtually never works.
I’ve explained thousands of times that once you have sex with lots of women, you become functionally incapable of long-term monogamy because now you’ve set the precedent of having sex with multiple women whenever you want.
So if you’re stupid, delusional, or brainwashed enough to actually get long-term monogamous after having sex with 200 hot babes, you’re just going to end up cheating on your new girlfriend/wife (and like most men, you’ll eventually get caught, and now you have real problems).
However, I said in the above article that I don’t need to have sex with a bunch of women anymore and I no longer need to do the crazy sexual stuff I’ve done in my past because I got it out of my system.
Am I contradicting myself?
No.
I said that I don’t need to have sex with a bunch of women anymore. But I was also careful to say that I still can’t have sex with one woman (monogamy) and how that still won’t work for me because I’m a man.
Which is correct. At age 53, after having had sex with a vast number of women, including many internet celebrities, and living all of my wildest sexual fantasies over and over again over the past 19 years, today I don’t need to have sex with a bunch of women anymore.
In my case, instead of having a harem of 15-20 hot babes who are all in different countries, today I’d prefer to have just three women, all of whom are long-term, and none of whom need to be famous perfect tens.
But three women still isn’t monogamy. Long-term monogamy still doesn’t work.
So the societal trope of “sowing your wild oats” or “getting things out of your system” is half correct.
You can indeed get something “out of your system,” but it’s not what you think.
What a man can get “out of his system” is the crazy sexual shit. The threesomes, foursomes, 18-year-olds, Instagram models, fucking two sisters, having sex in public, getting a blowjob while swinging on a chandelier, or whatever the sexual fantasies are.
That crazy stuff, yes, you can indeed get that out of your system. I’ve done it and I’ve known many other men in my age range who have also done it.
For example, in all seriousness, if I never have a threesome for the rest of my life, I’d be 100% happy. I’ve already done so many times that I just don’t have that particular desire anymore. (And as I said in the prior article, if two attractive women offer it to me, I’m probably not going to say no; I’m just saying I’m not going to pursue it and I don’t care to ever do it again.)
What you can’t get “out of your system” is the desire to have sex with more than one woman.
I’m sorry, but if you’re a human male, the desire to spread your seed is locked into your DNA and brain forever no matter what you do. There’s no getting around this.
You can do all of the crazy sexual shit you want, you will still not want (really and truly want in your heart of hearts) to only have sex with just ONE woman for literally the rest of your life.
You could marry the perfect woman on Earth for you, and eventually, at least within 2-3 years, you’ll want to have sex with someone else (even if you want to keep having sex with your special lady).
So you can get the crazy sexual stuff out of your system but you’ll never be able to be 100% monogamous either.
(And before I hear the nitpicking, yes, there is a teeny tiny percentage of men in the Western world who can indeed be monogamous to one woman literally forever with no cheating or divorce ever, but that’s only about 6%, and if you’re reading this article, you’re not anywhere near that 6% even if you hope to be.)
So yes, achieve all of your crazy sexual fantasies. I did it and it was fucking great. Highly recommend. And yes, you may get them out of your system and you probably won’t need to do them anymore eventually, which will make long-term relationships with women easier. BUT, and this is a huge BUT, you’ll still never be qualified to be 100% monogamous for the next 57 years to any one woman no matter what you do.